Getting to work (after I make toast)

I am blogging about my 40-day abundance journey using the Prosperity Principles in “The Abundance Book” by John Randolph Price.

Day 16

My inner supply instantly and constantly takes on form and experience based on my needs and desires, and as the Principle of Supply in action, it is impossible for me to have any needs or unfulfilled desires. 

When I meditated on this Principle 10 days ago, I focused on an ingrained behavior pattern of going shopping after work, not because I need anything, but because I wanted to avoid going home. Home was often a lonely place, filled with landmines and it was easier to pass time among agnostic things to buy than face the work that needed doing behind my front door. I didn’t publish what I wrote because my post took on a life of its own and became more about the circumstances of my first marriage than about the abundance journey.

Revisiting the principles several times allows for different interpretations, which I am grateful for. I am struggling with the journey right now, feeling like I am going in and out of awareness and ease. I’m eating too much and allowing myself to be distracted from the work that needs doing. And that is it, really. I am allowing myself to be distracted from the work that needs doing — I might as well be shopping at TJ Maxx right now.

I just brought in my first big user research job and I am proud of myself. It is a big deal for me to step out into a solo career, doing something new and be able to bring in work that I am excited to do. But now I am scared. I have a lot that I promised and have to deliver on and instead of rolling up my sleeves and getting to it, I am eating bread and allowing myself to drift. So afraid of a big job, I disappear into myself. I have done this all my life. So in a way, the Principle is delivering — it is taking on a form (distractions) based on my desire to be distracted. Why did I think that Spirit would bring what I really need, not necessarily what I am saying I need? That Spirit would see through my bargaining and deliver what She knows I really want deep down? The deal is I do my part and Spirit will do her part. I work and God works. It isn’t passive and Spirit isn’t Yoda, giving me a stern talking to when I want to give up.

The minute I get to work, Spirit will be there with me, feeding me source energy. But I have to get to work.

 

Three days and a skip

I am blogging about my 40-day abundance journey using the Prosperity Principles in “The Abundance Book” by John Randolph Price.

Day 11

God is lavish, unfailing abundance, the rich omnipresent substance of the universe. This all-providing source of infinite prosperity is individualized as me – the reality of me. 

Have you ever done an image search on “cosmos”? I did after meditating on today’s Principle and the results made me smile. I have a new respect for the guys who painted stars and swirling bits of constellations and perfect planets on the sides of their vans.

The substance of the universe are these swirling bits, and one the rare nights I have seen the Milkey Way, I’ve seen it. This substance is what makes up blades of grass and water droplets and crow’s feathers and me. We truly are all one, tied together by the cosmic substance that makes up the universe and everything in it.

Day 12

I lift up my mind and heart to be aware, to understand, and to know that the divine presence I am is the source and substance of all my good. 

I focused on the physicality of lifting my mind and heart yesterday. It is true that this work makes me feel expansive, with my chest actively opening up when I breathe in God. The act of lifting up, my eyes, my thoughts, my chest, makes things seem much clearer. I can see how awareness and understanding come out of this clarity.

I practiced this while riding the subway today and I could swear I saw farther down the car than is possible. Everything was perfectly clear and I saw people shine from the top of their heads. It was a far cry from the days when I shuddered to enter a train and felt hemmed in by bodies and souls each time I rode one.

Day 13

 I am conscious of the inner presence as my lavish abundance. I am conscious of the constant activity of this mind of infinite prosperity. Therefore, my consciousness is filled with the light of truth. 

Day 14

Through my consciousness of my God-self, the Christ within, as my source, I draw into my mind and feeling nature the very substance of Spirit. This substance is my supply, thus my consciousness of the presence of God within me is my supply.

After reading this a few times, I decided I could shorten it to “My consciousness of God within is my supply,” which makes for an easier statement to meditate on.

Yesterday I didn’t have a good afternoon or evening. I felt overwhelmed by the amount of things I had to do but had procrastinated throughout the day rather than being efficient and just getting on with it. I also ate sugar in the afternoon (Trader Joe’s fig bars) and the subsequent crash left me feeling empty and blasé. It felt like I put a heavy, wet blanket on God’s constant activity and the stillness left me feeling dislocated and lost. I was floating in gray aspic. I didn’t like it at all.

I haven’t been giving these meditations the attention they need over the last few days and I think that was the biggest contributor to my darkness. Like with the marathon training, I have to do my part so God can do his/hers. I have to do this work with clear eyes and a full heart, otherwise, it will be a blip in my life. I do not want that.

Relaxing into knowledge

I am blogging about my 40-day abundance journey using the Prosperity Principles in “The Abundance Book” by John Randolph Price.

Day 9

When I am aware of the God-Self within me as my total fulfillment, I am totally fulfilled. I am now aware of this Truth. I have found the secret of life, and I relax in the knowledge that the Activity of Divine Abundance is eternally operating in my life. I simply have to be aware of the flow, the radiation, of that Creative Energy, which is continuously, easily and effortlessly pouring forth from my Divine Consciousness. I am now aware. I am now in the flow. 

It’s my birthday today and this Principle is my present. I read it, took it in and then went outside, which until yesterday was still snow covered from the blizzard two weeks ago. I breathed in the morning air and watched three white-tailed deer run up the hill behind my house while the sun just starting to peek out behind it. Now I sit, listening to David Bowie and drinking tea while my dog snores at my feet. If this isn’t abundance. If this isn’t beautiful, heart-filling abundance, I don’t know what is.

It is the awareness that creates fulfillment and I am totally fulfilled. I love the notion of relaxing into knowledge, the opposite of trying to control the unknown or furrow out answers from imagined scenarios. The relaxation, the ease, the effortlessness is what God brings. It is what God is. It is my favorite self, living my favorite life.

Yes. The money will come.
Yes. The work will come.
Yes. The giving will come.
Yes. The women will come.
Yes. The peace will come.

Appreciation

Spider WebThere are many, many mornings where I wake up and acutely feel the absence of a child. But this morning, as I walked into the foggy forest behind the house and spent 45 minutes photographing dew-covered spider webs, was not one of them. I was out as long as I wanted, heard each leaf hit the ground as I realized where Fall got its name and walked without a plan or path. It was glorious and filled my soul.

This is who I am. This is my best self. My self showing up for beauty and nature and the glory of all of my senses. Thanks be to God. Thanks be to time. Thanks be to the mix that makes me, me.