Aloha and mahalo

I am blogging about my 40-day abundance journey using the Prosperity Principles in “The Abundance Book” by John Randolph Price.

Day 5

Money is not my supply. No person, place or condition is my supply. My awareness, understanding, and knowledge of the all-providing activity of the Divine Mind within me is my supply. My consciousness of this Truth is unlimited, therefore, my supply is unlimited. 

I spent a week on Kauai recently and loved it. By the end, I was picturing a life where I worked making kombucha smoothies at the Kukuiula Market, swam in the ocean, and read Tarot every day. Every time I take a vacation I do this – imagine living my life in a new place, doing things that I love without thought of making money. In my imagination, I never worry about paying rent because it, somehow, would all work out. Aloha and mahalo.

Today’s meditation brought this so much to mind. Since I am a freelancer, it is easy to get stressed out when I don’t know when my next job will come. I have three stages of panic that I typically go through:

Stage 1: I finish a job and feel free. “Now that I am not working all the time, I’ll go to museums and figure out how to finally sell my vintage clothing collection and exercise at 4pm, my favorite time to go to the gym!” I figure that I will have time to meditate and read my cards and relax into who I really am as I look for the next project.

 Stage 2: After a week of relaxing, I start to panic. What if I never work again? What if I’m no good? What if my references say awful things about me? The voices in my head start working overtime and I find myself trolling LinkedIn for jobs I do not want but think I could get.

Stage 3: The discomfort I feel when scrambling after scraps of my old way of being – a way of being that I consciously left behind – is overwhelming. I get instantly depressed and short of breath when I think about going backward; I can feel myself starting to shut down. Fortunately, since I started this work a year or so ago, I have been able to hit pause on that depression and listen for the prompts Spirit always sends. There is always another way, but sometimes it comes quietly.

This is what is so striking about my vacation self. The person I see, when I allow myself to dream, is someone who is untroubled by money because she has enough to get by. She doesn’t crave competition or others affirming her importance and she doesn’t crave the hustle. She is driven by passion but in a calm, confident way. She is enough and the world is enough. Like water seeking its own level, there is a balance there. This is truly what abundance looks like to me.

How amazing that I have been given previews of what life could feel like all the time, not just on vacation. If I take in how the Divine Mind is constantly providing a supply of everything that creates that balance, I realize I don’t need to be in the tropics to be in paradise. It is up to me to embrace that balance no matter where I am. If I approach my life confident that abundance is ever-present, it will become so, just like when I listen to prompts that Spirit sends instead of panicking and then opportunities arise. It isn’t that Spirit/God is sending opportunities when I am looking, it’s just that I am seeing opportunities that are always there.

My supply is unlimited. Aloha and mahalo.

Hola, amigos!

ImageRising and shining has been delightful these past few days, as I am on vacation in Playa del Carmen, Mexico and have the Caribbean Sea greeting me every morning. After a dark, cold, challenging winter, it was important to take some time in a bright, warm, easy location, for Tom and I to relax and enjoy each other away from the realities of our New York life. So we did what so many people do, and what I thought I would never do – we went all-inclusive.

Not that there is anything wrong with that, I think, defensively. As a prototypical Gen X kid, I thought I invented the ironic eye roll (we all did – watch “Reality Bites” if you don´t believe me), and things like all-inclusive resorts, cruises, corporate retreats – anything with a buffet, really – were considered impossibly cheesy and uncool. Things that yuppies did. Things that regular people did. Average things. I stayed on rainy sides of sunny islands, shared sleeping space with more than my share of lizards, broke the ice in the toilet after snowshoeing into a remote mountain cabin and woke up in a tent surrounded by coyotes, all in the name of authentic fun. A vacation was that much better if it required work.

But here I sit. Typing at a computer in a lovely cafe where the coffee and tequila are free, facing a beautiful pool and beyond that, the amazingly blue sea. I am grateful I let go of my self-righteousness when it came to vacation destinations. I am grateful I let myself take it easy. I am grateful I lost my 90s-era smirk somewhere along the way.

That is not to say that I don´t have moments of judgy judginess, despite wanting to be better than that, especially when observing “regular” people doing what “regular” people do. Breakfast, in particular, has been fascinating. It is the only buffet of the day and a chance to mingle with the broadest cross section of the hundreds of guests who are staying here. In a corner of a vast room is a table of fresh tropical fruit: mango, papaya, passion fruit and pineapple that I haven´t been able to get enough of. I fill plate after plate with fruit and follow it up with scrambled huevos dressed with pico de gallo, fresh guacamole and fresh cilantro. I like to think that I’m using my sense of taste to appreciate my surroundings – that seeking out the local flavors are another way to be present in this place, on this vacation. I know this sounds smug, because I feel a bit smug (disguised under a veil of concern) when I see people walking to their tables with overloaded plates of brown food: pancakes, bacon, waffles, hash browns, sausage, all the diner favorites, sometimes accompanied with stiff cantaloupe if they are being healthy (see! There is the judgy judginess right there). I know I am an adventurous eater (thank you, mom!), but I hadn’t realized how different I am from other people until I compared our breakfasts. I know that people tend to stick in their comfort zones, and that is one of the reasons they come to an all-inclusive in the first place, but I didn’t think that comfort zones involved so many processed carbs and butter. And with fresh passion fruit right there for the taking! So despite being in a place where regular people vacation, I am still not regular, if the breakfast plate is any indication.

How great is that? How amazing it is to realize that it doesn’t matter how my surroundings are packaged; I bring my oddness, my uniqueness with me. I can lay by the pool with a flower behind my ear and a fruity cocktail in-hand and not lose myself. Not become regular. I pack my best self with me, no matter where I go, and if I could go back and talk to my younger, 90s-self, I would try to convince her of that, and try to get her to stay on the sunny side of the island. It is beautiful there.

Until next time. Adios!